Drink Wine & Babble

Prime Minister Stephen Harper and the provincial premiers had their first little get-together at 24 Sussex the other day... they claim that they "chatted about a range of issues, from Canada-U.S. relations to health care to native affairs and finances" (Canadian Press, Feb. 24), and said that they discussed post-secondary education just to keep university students, such as myself happy... in reality, it was to "get to know the new prime minister a bit better" - you know, discuss where to get the best pedicures and whether Ashley Simpson's latest cd was as good as her last one - "You make me want to la-la..." was probably sung horribly off-key after a few too many cups of port... perhaps a few shots of tequila.

Talk about the issues? I very much predict that the premiers and the PM had a few playful pillow fights - eastern provinces vs, the western provinces... most likely followed by insessant giggling and the braiding of eachother's hair... or lack there of - at least for Harper, I firmly believe that his "hair" is just a helmet-like hair piece...

Chatted about our relations with the U.S? About Policies? I'm sure that those issues may have sounded a lot like a group of teenage girls giggling having a slumber party:
Harper: Bush looks like a monkey doesn't he? A cute little monkey eating a bananna
Random Premier #1: Um... I think he's a moron
Harper: Geez dude, would you call me a moron too? Geez!
Random Premier #2: Not exactly... you haven't talked too much
Harper: I'm just shy
Random Premier #1: Shy? You're the friggin' Prime Minister of Canada!
Harper: I know but... I just... sometimes I just don't know what to say
Random Premier #3: You could always blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind
Harper: Nah, I don't think so... I don't think that my new communications person can portray that side of me effectively
Random Premier #3: Well... get a new one, silly!
Harper: Maybe I will, in the morning... I'd rather just eat my skittles and play monopoly
Random Premier #4: Sir, aren't we supposed to talk about social policies?
Harper: Shut up, I don't wanna.
Random Premier #4: Sir, I really think so... that's what we're supposed to do
Harper: You're just jealous because I won the pillow fight
Random Premier #4: No... I just think... tha-
Harper: Listen buddy, we're going to eat our cheetos, watch Survivor, then I'm going to go get my beauty sleep.

I'm sure that they really did talk about Canadian issues at some point... no one will ever know. And by no one will ever know, I mean us non-premiers and non-PM's.