Batteries Not Included?

So, apparently batteries are never included with battery-required electronics - got a new phone, low and behold, it takes batteries! But do batteries come with the phone, so that you can use the newly-beloved phone? Oh, no, no, no... no... I'm thinking that the lack of batteries-included is rooted to some deep dark conspiracy... by whom and for what reason, is yet to be discovered.

Either way, it is a pain in the buttocks that batteries are no longer included. You buy a camera, batteries included, you buy some stupid child's toy, batteries are included - but once you buy something important, like a telephone, NO BATTERIES!

I very much wonder who is behind the lack of batteries. Is it that creepy pink Energizer Bunny? He keeps going and going somehow, is he hogging all of the batteries so that he can keep on going? Can the Energizer Bunny not afford to buy his own AAA batteries? Poor, battery-less bunny, why must you stash away all the batteries?

That has me now thinking about that smug look on his face - what kind of rabbit smiles like that? Let alone a pink rabbit? That rabbit is up to no good I say - and it's first evil task is to cease the idea of "batteries included"...

Or, perhaps I am just paranoid - who knows.